This article touches on a subject that we are often asked and were asked by a holistic physician, doing research, into the role aromatherapy could play in helping someone with libido (sexual desire) but more specifically the lack of sexual desire and if essential oils could help with sexual performance.
Often times the cause of libido and/or sexual performance are affected due to psychological problems stemming from the rat race of everyday living.
As many of you know having experienced essential oils, realize they can help with many of the psychological stressors folks have every day.
Calming and relaxing enough to be able to even think of having sex is of utmost importance. Getting enough rest is very important too, if you are not rested you won’t have the energy and will be too exhausted to enjoy it.
Typically, in a consultation for such a sexual problem, we look at all the other aspects of the persons’ life.
Do they have an underlying health problem that might be affecting performance or desire? Example and I’m sure many of you are aware of them – diabetes, heart disease, cancer, are you on medications that can affect performance and desire – not only men but women too.
+ Or are they new parents – older parents with teenagers?
+ Are there job security and financial worries too?
+ Do they set aside time to make love – not just have sex?
Yes, there is a big difference and those just seeking sex without the true love making will find the above problems are more prevalent.
Start having problems with performing and next thing you know your sex drive decreases as you think you will continue to have problems, a vicious circle.
In peoples busy schedules – they get too tired and have kids to worry about and just can’t redirect their desires without interference.
As far as any essential oil to help a man with impotence – to give him an erection, there is nothing. But again, any of the male enhancing drugs won’t work if they can’t get an erection in the first place.
BUT, what essential oils and aromatherapy can do, is to help the people – men or women – whoever is having the problem – to relax and hopefully refocus their brain, thoughts and energies.
+ pay attention to the moments,
+ to feel - the touch, the caress. Sensual massage can often times play a very major part to resolving sexual problems.
+ Using essential oils in the air (diffused) and in massage can help trigger past, present and future brain chemicals that will be very effective.
First there are many essential oils that may bring back memories of a time of wonderful sensual pleasure. So we try to seek out smells that may have been around when things were good (or great).
Floral smells, earthy smells. It is often times the sweet floral smell that may help a man – Jasmine and Rose, Neroli, etc. – remember a woman wears sweet perfumes to attract a mate/male.
Also women often times like the smell of earthy or what I call "manly" smells on their man – Patchouli, Sandalwood, Cedarwood , etc. So depending on who is having the problem, might determine what essential oils can help or might be used.
As for relaxing and stress releasers – there are many. But we usually start with the obvious – Lavenderand then add more EO’s (essential oils) that are known to help relax, i.e. Roman Chamomile, Bergamot and others. We have several synergy blends that can help to calm and relax.
In Aromatherapy, we can give general suggestions, but to really help someone, often times we have to allow the individual and their preferences in respect to the various and certain areas of their life, to make the choice. Only they know their desires to make their own choices by selecting different essential oils and this is a very personal decision.
We know you were hoping that we could give you a “one size fits all” answer, but since everyone is different and have different life circumstances it isn’t just one oil or blend that will work for everyone. We do start with the obvious and then ‘tweak’ it as needed.
You know that there are many factors involved when it comes to libido and sexual performance. And so we make suggestions for the obvious. If the patient is aware of other things in their life they can control then they have to work on them along with the use of essential oils.
Hopefully the essential oils will help to trigger a ‘great sex encounter’ memory and when they smell those scents again, the desire will be launched and the libido squelched!
Ginger – 8 drops
Myrrh – 5 drops
Jasmine – 2 drops (see note)
Cardamom – 1 drop
2 ounces of your favorite carrier oil
Mix all oils together and give one another a slow sensual massage. Please allow plenty of time!
Rose - 2 drops
Ylang Ylang – 2 drops
Jasmine – 1 drop
Neroli – 1 drop
Clary Sage – 2 drops
Sandalwood or our S’Woods blend – 2 drops
Fill the tub with warm water. Swirl water and add the essential oils. Close the door for 5 minutes and let the oils permeate the room. Light a few candles, play some soft music. Enjoy a wonderful bath together.
You can mix the above essential oils in 1 ounce of a fixed oil such as sunflower or almond an use for a sensual massage.
You might be interested in reading any of these past newsletter articles – they should also provide more help not only to help with the sensual part but how to relieve stress that can be playing a major part of the performance and enjoyment of your relationship.
Article on Impotence - https://birchhillhappenings.com/v902006.htm Love, Romance and Aphrodisiacs https://birchhillhappenings.com/love.htm Romancing your Love https://birchhillhappenings.com/v982007.htm Stress Part 1 https://birchhillhappenings.com/v732005.htm Stress Part 2 https://birchhillhappenings.com/v742005.htm Stress Part 3 https://birchhillhappenings.com/v752005.htm
So our suggestions for you are:
+ Set time aside – make a date – have someone take care of the kids – including watching your teenagers (you don’t want to worry about what they might be up to).
+ Take the phone off the hook, or shut the ringers down or off and shut off your cell phones, or anything else that could interrupt. SHUT off the Television!!!
+ LOCK the doors – pretend you are not home. Start early in the evening.
+ Set the mood - light a few candles, diffuse a few oils that you both like, play music very softly in the background or just let it be quiet – so you can listen to each other breathe, etc.
+ Take a bath or shower or better yet give each other one
+ Take your time – enjoy giving each other a massage – slowly, feel your skin touch - each other – all over! Light touches.
+ Oh and start your romantic encounter at the breakfast table – keep it going ALL day, little looks, teasing, phone calls, etc. This can start the mood for what is to come.
Will all these things help? It really is up to you. Clear your head of work, kids, etc, clear the stress and enjoy yourself and your loved one for a few hours.
Let the world drift away and enjoy the moment, use essential oils to give you memories to trigger your next encounter. Enjoy each other afterwards and simply be together.
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